ROUTINE / RITUALISTIC

     

  The routine that stops me from ripping off my nails.

List #1

By the morning:

• Drink a cup of Earl Grey
• Put on red lipstick
• Tie my boots
• Write in my journal on the subway.

List #2

• Read a book till 8 a.m.
• Annotate in class
• Drink copious amounts of caffeine
• Try to forget about love
• Go home.

List #3

• Lunch
• Shower
• “I cannot stop thinking about love.”
• Write another letter that I will never send
• Work on novels and edit poems

List #4

• “Do you love me?”
• Finish that book, or else.
• “I don’t think so.”
• Write to friends
• Drink two cups of tea
• Watch a movie
• Pray before bed

List #5

• Sleep
• Dream
• ‘Whisper method’ in my dreams
• “Was that you?”
• Stop it. Stop thinking.
• Don’t. Don’t even try.
• “Do you love me?”
• I cannot ask you that.